Alas, poor Cecil

Alas, poor Cecil, I knew thee well.  To be or not to be, that is the question.  Whether tis better to suffer the slings and arrows or to succomb to the Veldt of Africa (VA) of the Game Preserve?  Cecil, Cecil, where art thou, Cecil?  If I had a lion son, he would look like Cecil.

For then, with stealth and invidious motive, an evil, rich Republican lured Cecil off the Government Preserve with a job ( yea, and yet a minimum wage job) to feed himself and his family, only to bring destruction.  Oh, the wickedness of capitalism! And what saith this rich Republican?  A mistake, like Polonius stabbed through the curtain?  For Cecil abideth with prosperity on the wonderful Government Preserve.  Lion King C, like President C, hath power and prestige in the ‘hood and many females at beck and call. C. was livin’ large. He wast taken care of by benefits and welfare.  Cecil hath all that a lion doth desire on the reservation, until cheated out of it by an unfair Republican. And what doth these vile, uncompassionate conservatives now now sayeth? They sayeth that Cecil hath slain countless helpless zebras and wildebeests.  What? Do all lives matter?  Nay! Only Lion Lives Matter!  Zebras, pray tell, be half white and do not count.  And what sayeth the plebians of Zimbabwe?  They protest that hundreds of lions be slain each year unto thinning and game management.  They scoffeth at the propensity of lion progeneration, saying “He was just an effing lion!”  Attend not these scoffers and naysayers, for they are not beholden to socialism. They doth not desire the workers paradise!

Perhaps now we can hope for a Rainbow Lion, a male that yet abides another male.  Then all will be well in the world, and woe unto any business that refuses to acclaim Rainbow Lions.  We shall run them out of business--Out!  Out! Damned spot! Out, I say!-- with a strong hand whereunto social media and government regulators.  Yea, Caesar has spoken, “all the world shall be taxed.”

(and hopefully you’ll understand why Cecil gets mourned and aborted babies don’t by the liberals)