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Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Gone to the dogs

Ho! Barack
Obama pointed out ever so reluctantly that Mitt Romney once put the family dog
in a carrier and exposed the hapless critter outside the car. Oh, the horrors! To do such things is not at all what the
refined PETA people of Chicago would do. And it turns out, this is an enormous campaign
issue, but only most shyly offered by the magnanimous President. Moreover, the
evil, vile Romney is not alone in this practice. Why just today I followed a bitter clinger
who had exiled not one but two dogs to the back of his pickup truck. With no compassion for the poochie-woochies
whatsoever, he not only let the canines ride in the open back of his rattletrap
truck, but didn’t even bother to afix the tailgate. Where is OSHA when such things occur? No
doubt he was sadistically hoping the dogs would fall out as they staggered
helplessly trying to keep their balance while rushing from one side of the
truck to the other. Evidently
asphyxiated by the exhaust fumes, these two dogs of rural extraction, had begun
to pant and had their tongues hanging out of their mouths as they attempted to
look into the wind in order to garner a fresh breath of air. Indeed Hank the cowdog and his Henrietta
began to wildly bark at a deer in the pasture, no doubt warning of the cruel
behavior of their master. But no matter
how excited they became the deer was unable to rescue them from the horrid fate
of traveling al fresco. Hay and straw
began to blow over their hair. Can you
imagine! No one would want them to curl
up on a lap in the evening. Why I would
even bet that Hank the Cowdog and Henrietta will have nothing to eat this
evening except CO-OP dog food and a bath will be a dip in the stocktank plus a
good shake. Nonetheless, I am extremely
hesitant to bring this repulsive situation to the attention of the Obama
campaign—only because Romney does it.
Oh, the appalling cruelty!

And just
for the record, we should point out that the Republicans have found that Barack
ate dog while in Indonesia. Well, so what!
I have actually eaten a hot dog too.

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