Uncle Sucker

I guess the Obama campaign is promoting a video that shows a composite character “Julia” who starts getting government programs from age 3 to retirement.  It’s backfired.  It merely serves to remind most of us how crazy cradle-to-grave security is. 

Here’s to hoping that Julia is not like the woman that Obama put in his autobiography.   Now he says she wasn’t real, just a “composite girlfriend”.  Mom and I  looked at one another quizzically.  She finally responded, “What does that tell you about a guy who writes an autobiography and puts fabrications in it?” Well, I don’t know.  Maybe that is why the real girlfriend finally surfaced and said he was cold and aloof and guarded.  When she told him she loved him he said, “Thank you.” And then followed with something about how he could understand why she did.  That’s either cold as ice or dumb statement.  Dumb like when the weatherman Sunday night was following that tornado cell nearing Ponca City.  You know how they do it--showing radar maps, talking to some insane spotter trying to get closer to the twister, giving grave warnings about seeking shelter.  Then the tornado began to dissipate and he pronounced, “Now I wouldn’t get too relieved just yet since there is still persistent circulation.  Stay in your shelter for a while longer.”  I guess that statement was for the guy who really likes a comfortable tornado shelter complete with television service so he is watching the TV weatherman.  You know, big Lazy Boy, Slurpie in one hand and Big Mac in the other—so if you get blown away, they’ll say how you really enjoyed life.

Where was I?  Ah, Julia.  Julia gets all the state has to offer from little on.  It didn’t remind me of anything admirable.   It reminded me of the kids in our local group home and how growing up a system kid affected them.  Orphan kids had all they needed to eat and could constantly watch TV (the babysitter).  The state would take them on day trips to Frontier City and the Warren Center Ice rink.  They even had Slurpies and big Macs. 

They just didn’t have Mom and Dad.  And there was nothing on the face of this planet they wanted worse.  One kid grieved that he had blown a placement with a family that sounded downright like hillbillies.  Didn’t matter.  He wanted what the state didn’t have: Love, Encouragement, Someone to follow around, Somebody to eagerly get involved in his future. The absolute favorite TV channel at the group home was Disney.  17 year olds watched Disney.  Why?  It is the station that shows family life.  We took Amy as a foster kid.   I watched Amy spend her entire life savings of $42, earned at her job at Sonic, on Mothers Day.  It took me 3 hours following her around Walmart as she debated with herself over every gift. I remember Marcus, whose West African ancestry didn’t exactly match my German/Dutch. He latched onto us, calling us Mom and Dad while riding his bike down the hill every day he could. For what?  So he could run around with me fixing screen doors the renters had kicked out.  I remember cleaning a trashed-out house with Hayna.  He found a soiled magazine picture of a dog.  Stared at it a long time and asked if he could keep it.  Because it reminded him of a dog he had when he was 3, before his dad died and his mom got on drugs.  Warning: These are not composite characters!

The government cannot hold your hand when you walk down the aisle on wedding day.  The state won’t teach you how to measure up and be a man.  It’s not that the state is bad, they are just a safety net.  They are Uncle Sucker when they get suckered by welfare cheats and Uncle Sucker when they suck the taxes out of free people.  And they are Uncle Sucker when they encumber themselves with so many rules they don’t even know the rules themselves. 

If Julia was real, I’d ask her, “You want a real Mom and Dad?  Friends, Family and a Future?  Or do you  want Uncle Sucker?”  I know what Julia would say.