Polish jokes

So there was a riot in St. Louis and some guy of African descent kept talking about the Pole Lease.  I know what John and Stan, the two Polish Pittsburgh engineers I used to work with at Amoco would say.  “Didn’t know they could lease us.  At least Lincoln freed the slaves.”  Those two used to love acting Polish-dumb to the consternation of way-serious management or perhaps to give a little comic relief from all the equations and calculations.  ‘Jano and Stusch’ they called each other, were actually a couple of top notch tertiary recovery petroleum engineers.  Stan leaned over to me after someone told an Aggie joke one day.  “Lived here two years before I knew it was a school!  I thought it was some new minority group.” 

You never hear ethnic jokes anymore.  Some guy told me there was still a lot of racism in the country and I said, “Oh, yeah? Tell me a Negro joke then.  I have been working with staunch Republicans for 5 years and they are supposedly the big racists.  So why do I hear no black jokes?”  He didn’t have any joke he wanted to tell either.  Here’s a few of the jabs Jano and Stusch used to tell just for old time’s sake.

They found bodies of those two Poles that have been missing for some time .  They were at the drive-in, found frozen to death.  They came to watch “closed for winter.”

The Russians used to enlist Poles in their air cavalry.  Poor survival rate however.  The parachutes were made in Warsaw and it said on the side of the pack, “Opens upon impact.”

There were these two Polish twins.  One was 18 and the other was 22.

Are you using that cheap Polish dictionary?  It isn’t alphabetized.

What do you get when you cross a Jew with a Pole?  A janitor who owns the building.

A cop stopped a Polish woman and told her that she didn’t have the red light on the back of her car.  “It’s not that kind of car!” she protested.

There was a Pole who got upset after he gave blood at the blood bank and they didn’t give him a toaster.

Only one Polish driver has ever competed at the Indianapolis 500.  He unfortunately made too many pit stops asking for directions.
 A group of Poles got mad at a politician and decided to march on Washington.  Some actually made it to Seattle.

Santa Claus is definitely Polish.  Who else would wear a red suit?

So what kind of jokes do they tell in Poland?  They tell Obama jokes. (Sorry I threw that last one in just for fun.)